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[03 Nov 2008|06:55pm]
Since the last time I posted on here so much has changed. Honestly im not even sure if anyone I know still reads livejournal but its time to update reguardless. In the past year plus my life has been turned upside down by so many obsticals that i am proud to say I have overcome. I have moved across town into a new house with my brother, father and fathers new girlfriend. Chandra(my sister) has gotten married to her boyfriend who has turned out to be a great brother-in-law. The product of their marriage is the most beautiful baby girl I have even layed eyes on who just turned a year. Her name is Madison she is smart, adorable, and wild! She just recently started walked its so crazy how fast she is growing. If you want pictures let me know and ill see what i can come up with.

If remember correctly last time i posted in here I was in a relationship with a guy named Thomas. We dated on and off for 3 1/2 years...I see now that I wasted so much time and energy on that boy. One thing led to another and we finally decided to go our own ways about 6 months ago. It was the best thing we ever did. Since then my life has been a complete turn around. I am very happy with myself and my life. I spend less time working on our relationship which gave me more time for family and friends. Now i am dating a guy named Dave. Things with him, although very new are so great. He is constantly(a daily basis) telling me how beautiful, amazing and smart he thinks I am...something i NEVER heard from Thomas in 3 and a half years. While things with Dave are probably not long term I have decided that if he makes me happy now there is no reason i should give that up.

The biggest accomplishment of my life since my last post is probably school. I am in my 2nd year of college as of right now. Plan on graduating in may from the community college in my town with an associate in arts with a consentration in science and math. After that I plan to transfer in the fall to....possibly UNCG? im not 100% sure yet which drives me insain...I am such a planner. However, what ever school I end up attending I WILL graduate with my BSN eventually...I know i still have so much ahead but i feel i have done so much already in the past year and a half i have struggled through A&P and failed A&P2 (which i will take again in the spring) now i am fighting to pass microbiology.

My birthday is coming up soon...as a matter of fact in 9 days! I will be 19 and hopefully will be able to see Mom and Audge this year for my birthday. I actually just got my nose pierced for my birthday a little early! Its my first and only pirecing other than my ears.

I think i have caught everyone up so untill next time everyone be safe!
walk in the rain

[31 May 2007|11:26pm]
I dont want to use the word depressed because im not, but i am down.
I dont understand why its so hard...
I can tell Katrina what i feel and how i want it to work out
but i cant seem to tell him
things are always different when i talk to him
im scared
and lonley
and i cryed tonight for the first time since our fight
which btw you should know i didnt let him win.
i guess thats why we are where we are.
I was told today that there is a such thing as a perfect life
and for the first time i believe it...
thats what a want
i have to work to hard with him
and i dont mean im to lazy to work things out
i mean we are ALWAYS having to work on our relationship and it shouldnt be that hard
it didnt use to be
i want to be done
i want to cut all ties...until its night time
and im lonley and i want him to call
or even show up so i can talk to him and hug him
i just wish i could make up my mind
im so sick of feeling so many different feelings.
Maybe i should just graduate and move on...
move out...and start a whole new life....
idk anymore...well honestly
i dont think ive even known what i wanted....
walk in the rain

Summer! [09 Jun 2006|09:17am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Summer is here! im not sure to be happy or what....i usually spend my summer with my mom or hanging out with friends...I have a job now so im pretty sure ill be spending most of my summer there! As of tomorrow i will be a senior...i have spent long years to get to next year but i really wish it wasnt here...High School went by so fast..Im not ready to grow up and go to college...im only 16...GAH! Anyways something else i need to bitch about..Flags! I tryed out for captian this year...but i didnt get it. i was so mad i even cryed. Jenny got it which is good...even great but..idk im not gonna say what im thinking....the other girl that got it is going to be a junior next year...thats what makes me sooooo mad...i dont think anyone should get it unless they are gonna be a senior...w/e enough bitching most people wont even understand...On a brighter note...i can drive now! i got my own car and everything! Chandra and jon are getting married next march or something and they plan on moving out soon...everything is good..

1 flip walk in the rain

PROM [01 May 2006|03:29pm]
Prom is this weekend...i got my dress takin care of thank god...i need to get a few more little things but im so stressed about the whole money thing we have no idea how we are going ot take care of dinner...gah...i just wanna get it over with. Anyways i went to charlotte this weekend with Ashley i had a blast! it was so much fun...i blew all my money on buying everyone something..i forget to get me something lol It was really nice to get outta morganton...i enjoyed it alot...lol it makes me want to go places though....I really really wanna go to the beach this summer i talked to dad about it and we found a place that would be perfect but its alot of money...idk...anyways just wanted to let you guys know what was going on...ill be sure to try and post pictures from prom!
4 flip walk in the rain

Jealous.... [21 Mar 2006|07:28pm]
[ mood | blah ]

There is this girl that lives down the road and goes to our school...she is so beautiful and idk i guess one of the "perfect" girls you see in the movies...Cheerleader skinny amazing hair and her b/f is okay looking...lol anyways she has been flirting with Thomas and flirts with alot of other guys too but i got sooo mad when we flirted with him and i hated her for awhile then i heard this song the other day and its a GREAT song and it describes JUST how im feeling about this girl...and im trying to like her and i realized i think im just jealous of her...she is everything i wanna be someday...sorry guys i know you hate it when i bitch but im just having one of those days...but anyways here is the song...if u havnt heard it then download it...its a good song...here are the lyrics... 

Small town homecoming queen
She’s a star in this scene
There’s no way to deny she’s lovely
Perfect skin, perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside she’s ugly

Maybe I’m just jealous-I can’t help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen, I’m in the marching band
She is a cheerleader, I’m sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk, I’m sleeping on the floor
She’s Miss America
And I’m just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutante
Everything that you want
Never too harsh or too demanding

Maybe I’ll admit it, I’m a little bitter
Everybody loves her, but I just wanna hit her…


I don’t know why I’m feeling sorry for myself
Spend all my time wishing that I was someone else

I get a little bit, she gets a little more
She’s Miss America
And I’m just the girl next door

2 flip walk in the rain

Job Hunting... [28 Feb 2006|06:22pm]
I just noticed that in 9 days i can get my license...A year sure has gone by really fast...its so not fair...Dad said i cant even go to get it untill i have a job ot pay for car insurrance that part i understand but he payed for chandra's when she didnt have a car...not to mention we are back to the whole....how am i gonna get to work if i dont have a job...we almost have that worked out...anyways i have filled out applications and i thought i was gonna get a job at a restarant near my school and i called them back and they keep telling me to call back the next day so i gave up and put in an application at human resorces for grace ridge...maybe that will work out..all my friends are getting jobs but im not...what am i doing wrong? gah...idk im gonna try to fill out more applications this weekend i guess....wish me luck and if u know if anyone is hiring let me know! thanks guys!
4 flip walk in the rain

[12 Feb 2006|08:55am]
This week went by sooo fast. Valentines day is next week but thomas gave me my gift yesterday. He got my a promise ring...its so pretty! i love it. i kinda knew thats what it was gonna be. I didnt have much money but i got him one of those personalized license plates. he likes it but i have more to give him on tuesday...even though i have to babysit on tuesday! Anyways....Bj had OSS this week for a day and a half b/c he refused to do the practice writing test. So he got to sit at home and play video games i think thats bull..That boy i swear one day he is gonna end up in a place thats worse then where chandra ended up...It makes me so mad when he will yell at thomas b/c thomas tells him to do something but jon could tell bj anything and bj wont even argue...he says thomas doesnt have the write to tell him what to do b/c he isnt his dad but its not like he listens to dad not to mention jon isnt his dad...Bj is getting worse i think and i dont know how much more i could take this morning he was blaming a bunch of shit on me...i guess it sounds like no big deal to you guys but it just gets under my skin...everyone in this house just wants whats best for bj but he acts like we wanna hang him by his toenails...

I need a job really bad...i could get my license on march 10th but i know thats not gonna happen dad says i cant get my license untill i get a job but no1 around here would give me a ride to work if i got a job..Thomas and dad work untill 7 or 8 and chandra has an issue with gas...i dont even know how im suppose to go fill out applications...its really stressing me out. i mean i baby sit 4 days a week but its not enough money..i owe mom a bunch of money im sure for the phone bill and i dont even know when im suppose to pay her for it all..Well anyways dad is taking us out to breakfast so im gonna go get dressed!
2 flip walk in the rain

[31 Jan 2006|09:58pm]
today is Thomas's birthday! he turned 18...and he got a tattoo today! how crazy is that! its okay thought i like it! I love that boy so much he has really changed he is so sweet to me now and everything just seems to be so perfect aside from our few arguments from time to time but its okay! Thomas bought a truck yesterday its kinda for me...its gonna be under his name but im gonna drive it and pay for the insurance and stuff so i need to get a job. Thomas's party is this weekend but its gonna be a suprise so dont tell anyone! lol We started our new semester at school my classes are gonna be hard but i like them so far so. Today i learned almost every organ in the abdomenalplevic cavity ! on my way to being a nurse! hehe anyways im gonna get off here homework and i should be in bed already! hope you guys had a great day!
2 flip walk in the rain

Fucking Drama.... [06 Jan 2006|04:40pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Came home from school today...animal control came by and left a note of stuff...Wonder who could called them!? *rolls eyes* God im soo sick of the drama people like i said b4 need to learn to act there age...What the fuck is this world comeing to...just think if people there age act like this i dont even wanna think aobut how my kids are gonna act when they are that old...i sure as hell hope they act there age and not 17...Fuck even if it wasnt "her" that called them...her and chandra fighting over livejournal...if you got something to say to my sister or to my family GROW BALLS AND COME TO MY FUCKING HOUSE AND SAY IT TO OUR FACE! Anyways They said we needed to take zoe to the vet( has already been) and they said we needed to make sure food and water is out there everyday...as far as i know water is out there all the time and as for food They get feed inside b/c they come inside after we all get home but SOMEONE didnt bother to find that out....idk w/e im just so sick of all this drama that isnt wanted by anyone and isnt needed by anyone in this house...

To the rest of you hope you had a AMAZING christmas and even better new year i know i did...miss most of you and love even more of you!

2 flip walk in the rain

Merry Christmas... [24 Dec 2005|02:41pm]
I cant b/l christmas is here...it came soo fast it doesnt even feel like christmas but b4 u know it its all gonna be gone...I have been trying so hard to stay in the christmas spirit but that past week or 2 EVERY little thing has been getting to me...i always have someone or something to bitch about i think its just cause im stressed about christmas...i am out of money and owe some to chandra...we have to clean the house for tomorrow and i guess Chandra and i are gonna be cooking christmas dinner!! ahhhhh wish us luck...idk Anyways im glad i get to go to moms monday i need a week away and a week to bitch lol but honestly i dont think chandra and i can make it together a week...we will end up getting into it im sure...Since dad said she cant get a job and has to stay home and clean and cook and stuff she has been taking on the "mom" role and that makes me mad more then anything even though i guess dad made it her job but idk everytime she tells me to do anything its just idk she isnt my mom and i HATE it when she trys to act like it...w/e...i shouldnt be bitching....its christmas...anyways hope you guys have a merry christmas and wish Chandra and I luck on cooking tomorrow! gah...
2 flip walk in the rain

Daniel Self... [07 Dec 2005|03:48pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Daniel Self graduated last year with jon...i knew him from some where but it isnt clicking from where...He died monday night...He was fallowing his g/f home and clipped her...his car fliped 2 times and he went out the sunroof...i heard the car landed ontop of him...As for his g/f no1 seems to know what happened to her its not even in the paper...i really wish someone knew b/c i now that girl...Amanda Hendrix...i signed a card for her today in band...it was getting passed around...chandra said she heard that she was in the hospital and wasnt gonna make it...but i hope she is okay...i know she must feel aweful...i dont even wanna think about having to watch Thomas die...and if that were to happen to us i would feel 100 percent responsible....gah...Daniel Self....This is the 7th person to get hurt from our school this year out of those 7, 4 of them have died...thats all i have heard about too im sure there are more who have gotten hurt...its really scarry Also one of Thomas's family members died today....anyways im at work...i just wanted to post about daniel...this is something ill never forget...

walk in the rain

[06 Dec 2005|08:02pm]
Im so sick of all the drama...
im not really sure what else to say...
idk im just really stressed today...
its gonna be a long week...errrr

2 flip walk in the rain

[24 Nov 2005|09:50pm]
Happy Thanksgiving to all esp. Jordan b/c she posted a comment to my myspace and im to lazy post one back so HAPPY THANKSGIVING JORDAN!!!! and the rest of you guys...
1 flip walk in the rain

HELP... [17 Nov 2005|07:43pm]
Okay guys i need some help im sure u have seen me post about Student ambassadore stuff

Anyways i REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna go but it cost about 5,500 dollars...

so needless to say i need to do ALOT of fund raising...

so if u guys have any ideas or know anyone who could sponser me...

PLEASE PLEASE comment.....i really need some ideas here people...

5 flip walk in the rain

My birthday! [11 Nov 2005|09:43pm]
Got back from moms today...had a really good time actually but her tooth is hurting her and audge wasnt having such a hot day today but i was still glad i got to see her...i got my b-day gift from her its a t-shirt that says my lips hurt real bad..lol b/c im always talking about how my lips hurt and i need chapstick lol she makes fun of me all the time....anyways TOMORROW is a busy day ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! i have a student ambassadore meeting at 3 and my party is at 6 and i need ot clean my room and house and stuff b4 everyone gets here and we need ot go to the store to get food and stuff still..lol anyways just wanted to tell u guys my birthday is tomorrow!!!!
walk in the rain

YAY!! [07 Nov 2005|05:47pm]
I have had such an AWESOME weekend....let me tell you what!!

Friday was fat friday...for those who dont know thats when we have the biggest football game of the season! its against east burke....we won 7 to 24 i think....not sure but i was happy and i had a blast. Thomas came and watched me at half time its the first time he saw me perform! and we did GREAT its the best we have done ALL season i was sooooo proud! and it finally felt like old times! but now football is over for the most part and its kinda sad but great at the same time b/c next football game im suppose to go to ill be a senior! hehe Anyways saturday we had competition it was our last one this season and he hadnt place 1st yet we were like 1 point away each time so we really wanted it this time...my class(juniors) we hadnt ever gotten first b/c last year we only placed once but this time we killed them WE GOT FIRST!!! can you b/l it? i was soooooooo happy me and jenny didnt stop screaming it was such an awesome feeling and all the seniors started to cry...wow it was such a great day. Then sunday...wow sunday was soo awesome i went to the mall with Chandra and Allison while Thomas and Jon were at work. Chandra got me my b-day gifts and i know what they are but im not gonna post that stuff untill sunday when i get it lol anyways thomas got off work at 830 and everyone was already either in bed sleeping(chandra) or watching TV and Thomas and i sat in the kitchen while he was eating and he wouldnt stop smiling at me...he was so sweet and he pulls out a little black box with a heart necklace and was like "this is for ur b-day sweetheart" it is sooo pretty and i love it!! he has been so awesome to me...he makes me smile all the time and treats me good i just wish other people could see the awesome guy that i do...idk..w/e...

We started Christmas music today in band...GAH i LOVE christmas but i feel soooooooooo bad this year i have NO money i have NO idea how im gonna get some b4 christmas so if u have any ideas or need a babysitter...PLEASE PLEASE let me know......i will love you forever. I also have a 4 page paper on Hemophilia due tomorrow ihavnt started on...i should be doing that instead of writing in here but ya know...

My b-day part is saturday i have invited like 20 ppl...lol idk what im gonna do to entertain them all if u have any ideas about that let me know too lol but i think we are gonna rent a few movies and stuff and im sooo happy chandra is making my cake and we were gonna get food from her work but i think we are gonna get come long subs from subway and have a few of those with chips and stuff ya know anyways its gonna be sooo much fun but i have to have it later like 6 b/c i have that stupid student ambassadore meeting about going to Italy France and Spain next year...lol

Anyways im gonna go work on that paper and talk to audge...
10 flip walk in the rain

[27 Oct 2005|07:24pm]
I felt like making a REAL post this time lol so here is whats up with me

Marching band season is almost over...which means on one hand i get my life back

on the other i need ot start running ot get in shape for lacrosse...lol im not looking forward to that

Jenny got in a car rec the other day...she is fine but her moms car isnt lol...

Thomas and i just passed our 8 month this week...im so happy with him still...

he has been soooooo sweet the past few days! hehe

Speaking of Jenny she broke up with kirt last week...

Band has gone good this year so far...last week we went to App(ASU)

WE got 2nd place...by 1.3 points....isnt that crap?? man it made me mad...

i just hope we do good this weekend at east burke...

My b-day is coming up...i cant wait...but i still dont know if im having a party or not

I have a student ammbassadore meeting about going to frand spain and italy at 3 on the day i want my party

but i guess i need ot pick soon...

anyways i have been working my ass off in band and spending the rest of my time at school or doing homework or sleeping

Thomas Now works at the Morganton store instead of in hickory which means he sleeps at my house

so i havnt been spending alot of time with him but atleast he holds me while im sleeping!!

which is good b/c its getting really really cold here...

i was soooo happy this morning i was singing all the way to school

i cant wait for the snow...but everyone else hates it b/c they are cold...

but idk...i have ALWAYS loved the snow...for as long as i can remember...

anyways sorry about all the drama in TN...things will work out

they always do...idk...

To Raven feel better soon that mono really got you down!!

and to the rest of u hope you have a GREAT halloween!!
3 flip walk in the rain

Random thought [27 Oct 2005|06:22pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Today is 4 years since i started first....

Crazy how i remember that huh? lol anyways

hadnt posted anything in awhile so i thought id just tell you guys!!

1 flip walk in the rain

Great mood [10 Oct 2005|04:30pm]
Had a really good day today!! even though its monday! lol anyways i thought about my journals and they always seems to be drama packed or bitching about something and i just thought id tell u that my everyday life isnt always like that i just use this "journal" as a way to vent on the things that bother me and forget to right about the good stuff so this journal is gonna be as positive as possible...

Had a band competition this saturday again we got a 91.6 last weekend we got a 77.2 i think so...yea but i think we really did worse..oh well the judges didnt think so...ummmim starting to get use to band the way it is instead of spending my time wishing it was like last year...YAY! lol

Mom was here this weekend we had fun...and everyone seemed to get along which i was pleased about b/c i thought thomas was gonna be in a bad mood but he wasnt....he was in a really good one for the most part. Dad went to my band competition for the first time got to see me perform and I DROPPED MY FLAG!! lol its all good...those things are sooooo pretty but so hard to flag with i am about 5 1 and the flags are on 6 foot poles....you guys should see it its crazy!!

Lots of important dates for me are coming up...my b-day is a month and 2 days away from now which is november the 12th and in like 2 weeks is mine and Thomas's 8th month!! alot of my friends seem not to care for thomas to much but oh well...i have gotten to the point where i dont care...He is a really great guy and most of the poeple that dont like havnt really given him a chance...well Allison is on her way to come pick me up we are gonna og running...we are trying ot lose weight...hehe
4 flip walk in the rain

LAX [07 Oct 2005|05:00pm]
Been thinking about lacrosse alot the past few days....i really really really wanna go to practice but they are on tuesdays and i babysit those days...errrr not to mention since i missed all those prctices they have a different goalie...kinda makes me feel like they dont need me so whats the point in going...idk i might talk to jen about it....
walk in the rain

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